Some Conversations can be Brutal

Serious conversations can sometimes be brutal... ones that critique you as a person, ones that make you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, ones that stir up incredibly negative emotions inside. Sometimes you just have to be silent in response....otherwise you might react and you say something you'd regret.

But at the same time they can be necessary. Because they speak the truth. The truth that you keep hidden from yourself. Every now and again you might catch a glimpse of it, but the bad feelings it stirs within you make you shove it underneath the carpet to be hidden from view again.

These conversations can be life changing.

At the moment I'm still dealing with this stew of rotten emotions brewing within me... All the feelings that appeared, as a reaction to words. I had no control over them.

But it's getting better.

Wait.

I just felt it.... trying to sweep all those emotions and thoughts under the carpet again.

Maybe those negative emotions are necessary... to influence action.

I am a person with many weak points.

While I've made progress in a lot of areas. There's still areas that need a lot of work.

The areas where I need to get uncomfortable.....and the hardest part for me....make other people uncomfortable.

The next step.

I need to stop doing so many things for myself, and start doing things for other people. Not to reach any status quo, not to balance any favors, but simply to do so -- because I genuinely want to help them for their sake.

Anyways, my sister is behind my laptop hissing at me like an old woman. So, this is done for now.