How did we reach this place that we are now?
Why is it that there are many days of my life that I find...well boring? Why the hell do I find life boring sometimes!?
There's this feeling I get sometimes... When I wake up in my apartment... groggy, wanting to go back to sleep. I feel like I'm isolated in some bubble. The lights are dim, there's not much noise, the air is uncomfortably warm and stale.
...Then I open the door outside, and all of the sudden I'm thrown into a world that's bright with the sun, that's alive with the bite of the cold air, that's teeming with sound from cars, from people. I feel like I've gone from a bystander, disconnected from everything, to a citizen of the world....
Anyways, back to my original question. Why the hell am I bored sometimes?
Somehow I live in a society that's structured in such a way that my life -by default- has no purpose! I'm a person who's meant to sit on the couch and absorb television, as a consumer, to go out and buy shit that's going to keep me entertained for a limited time in my small bubble of a world, until I get bored and go out and purchase something else!
I live in a country where being an individual is the ultimate freedom. Where connection and teamwork is discouraged. Where people on the street are defaulty referred to as "strangers" instead of opportunities! Opportunities for connection, friendship, assistance.
What the hell society do we live in? What is our purpose? I feel like since I was born, the common goal of the average person is to
1) go to school
2) get a good job
3) get married, have kids, then die.
DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS IS THE ULTIMATE FUCKING BORING THING TO DO!??
I'm not discouraging marriage or anything, yes I think raising a family, and being close to your love ones is very important.
But what happened to having a larger purpose?
What happened to being alive for a reason, a reason that excites you, that makes your heart beat fast, that makes you want to run around the world shouting to people!?
Why do we waste our breath on small talk?! We're human beings, we have dreams, we have passions, fears!! Why don't we talk about these!? It's what makes us human, it's what connects us! We get the extreme privilege of our physical bodies, of having a language that connects us, and we use it to talk about the most useless boring things! If we all spoke from the soul, from what moves and excites and inspires us, LIFE WOULD BE A MILLION TIMES MORE EXCITING!
What happened to that sense of discovery!?
We all had it as kids
I remember the feeling, riding in the car, looking out at the world thinking... Wow, this is such a big place. There's so much out there that I don't know, that's just waiting to be found.
Are we really so ignorant to think we know everything!?
Um, HELLO!
What happened to us living our lives asking question, asking "Why are things this way?", and an infinite amount of other questions. Why do we take our entire lives for granted, acting like we know every damn thing. Being resigned and bored with life. Holy shit.
The most excitement we get is out of watching movies. AKA sitting on the couch, watching a flat screen with colors.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
Get out much? Um, how about having a real adventure.
I love movies as much as the next person, but I hate that feeling of NOT FEELING LIKE IM PARTICIPATING IN THE REAL WORLD.
Here's some things that excite me that I want....no, that I'm GOING to do.
I'm going to go out and explore the wildlife of the Northwest. I'm going to find areas in the forest, near the ocean, in swamps, where I can observe animals in their natural habitat. Where I can document their daily agendas, see what makes them tick, be a narrator and storyteller of their stories. YOU KNOW WHY!? Cause that fuckin interests me. Ever since I was a kid, animals have fascinated me. And I find wild animals FASCINATING. And I feel like we rarely get to take a look into their lives. This is why I LOVE shows like Planet Earth.
What else... I'm going to also create short videos that emphasize, and create a visual (and audio) experience unlike any other, that delve into the meaning of my favorite quotes. I always read quotes that inspire me, but I forget them within a few days. What if I could create videos that really explored what they meant to me, that connected the words to the world I live in, and I could package them in a way that inspired others? HOLY SHIT THAT'D BE AWESOME.
What else? I am going to explore the world. I want to jump into the unknown. Fall ass-first into different cultures, where the world occurs totally different for them as they do for me. I want to have my eyes open to the way the world is different, or similiar, to the way I believe it is now.
I want to discover. I want to see things that have never been seen before, I want to discuss things that have never been discussed before. I want to create things and tell stories that are exciting and inspiring to me. And you know what? I don't really care if people don't like them. Because if they excite me, that's all that matters. And the audience that enjoys them will have access to them, and the people that don't, don't have to watch/read/listen to them.
I'm going to improve myself. The act of this is a subtle one, more subtle and simple than I've ever thought it was. It's about doing the things I said I'd do, it's about not making empty promises, it's about making mistakes, it's about catching myself, when I realize I'm making a decision that doesn't fit with my values. It's that simple.
One thing I've noticed lately, is that you can truly do anything you want to do. You can be whoever you want. It's just a matter of deciding who that is, a matter of realizing what actions/commitments that takes, and a matter of doing those things that make you that person. You can specialize in anything you want. I want to make films, I want to package my excitement and wonder about the world into a medium that people can understand and empathize with. I want to make things that I can look back at later in life, and relive the excitement that I experienced the first time while engaging in that project.
I want to make people smile, I want to make people laugh.
The world is a playground of discovery, I'm ready to play.
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