Sun-sun-sun

Sooo, I think I figured out what had been bumming me out for a while...

I kept thinking there was something extremely wrong with me, something I was doing wrong in my life that was making me feel more stressed/pessimistic/depressed than normal... It was kind of a downward spiral, because then I spent a bunch of time trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and when I couldn't put my finger on it...that just put me in a worse mood. I think the answer to everything's a lot simpler than I thought...

I need to get out more...

...As in outside.

I spend so much time cooped up in my dorm room...in class...in the math study center (aka the 'homework dungeon')... I barely spend any time outside, besides in-between walking to classes.

We're even talking about it in my environment class, how a sunlit window in a room can deeply decrease the stress levels of someone working in a room that previously didn't have any windows.

I went out today and simply sat out in the Quad for a while with my laptop, and I felt fantastic. It put me in a really great mood, and I wasn't even really doing anything, other than sitting out in the sun..

I feel retarded that I didn't realize this earlier... In fact, I think back to the most depressed years of my life, and it was the times when I was cooped up in my room 24/7. Jesus, how could I be so dumb.... I've always enjoyed laying out on the porch in the summer, and I've definitely realized how much sunny days improve my mood... But I never actually try and spend any extra time outside. God I feel stupid.

Anyways, I just realized how much more motivated I get when I'm outside. When I'm stuck indoors I'm always bored, not motivated to do anything... But outside I get excited, and want to do stuff...

Another thing I realized is that I need to schedule my days out better... I've always kind of taken things day-by-day, sometimes hour-by-hour... Then I just end up in my room all day, doing nothing, and going to bed super late. I need to plan:

#1) When I go to bed

#2) When I'm going to do my homework

#3) The things I need to take care of (even weeks/months ahead of time).

I'm gonna try to go to bed by 10:30pm tonight, so I can wake up at 6:30am tomorrow, and still get 8 hours of sleep. Okay, that's all I got for now, had to get that down before I went to bed.