I have thought a lot about it though...
How much happened in the course of a year, when I was 19...
...Up until that point my life had been pretty simple. Since high school I'd just been going to school every weekday, going home to a happy family, and hanging out with my best childhood friends on weekends.
My first year of college wasn't too rough of a transition either... I still went to school, and still saw my family/best friends on weekends...
...Then I turned 19. I could never have foreseen what the next 365 days would hold. Right off the bat, at the start of the summer, I had a friend visit from the East coast. She was the first girl I had real feelings for...But things didn't last long. Things went from happy and cheerful at the start of the summer, to a crash and burn at the end when I visited her in New York & Florida. It wasn't fun times... But when I got back, I realized how much I truly appreciated the people in my life... especially my close friends....
I've since then realized I need to stop putting so much time and energy into girls... It seems like whenever I start liking someone, I start ignoring everything else, like my friends and sometimes schoolwork. I invest too much...I have to realize it's most likely not going to work out in the end, and I just need to relax and take things easy. I always put too much emotion and time into it, even when I know the person probably isn't going to be the right one for me. Oh well, I'm realizing these things now, and I think I'm starting to improve a bit...
Anyways, the new school year started smoothly, I got fairly decent grades, I had a lot of fun on weekends, going to parties and such... I finally decided on my major...Atmospheric Sciences. Then I saw the courses I had to take... Math....physics...math...and more math. I realized how easy school had been up until then...I'd been taking all the classes that looked fun/interesting and could fill in the basic general ed. requirements... These classes didn't look like they were going to be easy. And sitting here now, I can tell you they're not. Math 125 has been rough...I still haven't mastered a routine of going to the math study center, but I still manage to be in there around 10 hours a week. Next year's going to be even harder....much harder (all math and physics). This was the year I realized I need to get pull my head out of my ass for school. It's no longer easy street.
Family. There's an interesting one. Up until this last winter, my family had been fine. Yes the past few years there were some strange situations between my parents, but at the end of the day they were still together... But then things changed... My dad got kicked out of the house... This devastated my dad to a degree I can't even imagine. I'm not sure if he'll ever recover... Here was the happy dad who's #1 priority in life is family, living in his dream home, with his dream family...and he unexpectedly gets it all torn away from him one day. I simply can't imagine what it'd be like to be in his shoes... Anyways, this of course affected the whole family...especially my brother who's now been missing school, and being fought over by both parents. While in some ways I wish I could stay away from everything and ignore the situation, I can't. My dad needs me more than ever, if for nothing else, to be a friend in this sucky-ass situation. Also I feel like I should be helping with the rest of the family too....everyone's going through a hard time right now...
Friends. Since elementary, and especially high school, my friends have shaped me into who I am today. I've known most of them since 2nd grade, and we have countless stories, inside jokes, and adventures we've gone on. I don't know where I'd be without them, we've done some of the most exciting/fun stuff together, and gone through some of the roughest/down times with each other as well. This year though, as everything else did, things changed. Summer of 2009...I learned Jeremy was going to have a baby....Winter of 2009, I learned Charlie was going to have a baby. Two of my best friends, making one of the biggest steps one can make in their life. And while I was (and remain) happy for them...I couldn't help but realize... Things have changed. I'm no longer going to be able to hang out with my 3-4 best friends every weekend. Two of them now are starting new chapters in their lives... ones where family....their kids..take priority. Charlie's kid was just born yesterday... I've come to grips with the fact that I'm going to be spending a lot less time with these 2 friends...a LOT less. But now I'm left with the question... Now what?
Fortunately, Ive slowly been working on figuring out the answer to that question... School, for one, is taking up a lot more time than it was. So regardless of what happens, I'm going to need to make more time for school. Especially next year when my course-load consists of all math and physics... Also, I've been meeting a lot more people lately, and reconnecting with old friends as well.. I don't think it'll be too hard to find people to do stuff with, it's just a matter of actually making plans with them.
This summer should be interesting, so far there's 2-3 vacations planned (Puerto Vallarta, California, and Montana). Though the last two may be a bit iffy. I'm most likely going to run out of money very fast, seeing as I won't have a summer job. Maybe I can find some way to make money...maybe by doing some photography stuff. For some reason I really want to get back into the "SMILE" sign thing again... Where me and friends go out and hold "smile" signs on street corners, or out of the car. It was just a fun thing to do, and it felt like you were making at least a small difference in everyone's lives. Also, I want to do a lot more hiking and camping... We live in a beautiful state full of mountains, and I don't want to waste that! Maybe some more spontaneous trips to Vancouver as well (it's so close!). I'm just hoping I can force myself not to be lame and not stay inside all day during summer.
Anyhow, besides those last 2 paragraphs, that's the gist of how things went when during the time I was 19. A lot of change...not to mention a lot of other people I know are having kids now... It just seems so early to be doing that... I thought people didn't start having kids until they were 24-25, but I guess I was wrong. Anyhow, I'm 20 now, and we'll see what this year has to bring... Hopefully more happy things!
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